A Sample Edit (Web Page)

In this post, I’ll be demonstrating a before and after of a sample text from the About page of a restaurant.
After examining several other pages for a similar type of business, I decided to use this mock-up version:
The Blue Suede Shoe Bar is an environment for enjoying peaceful conversations either inside, or, on the patio, while enjoying our food offerings and sipping on excellent wines, ports, beers, and/or spirits.  Our wine list has been carefully crafted to provide excellent wines at reasonable prices.  Our list features a mix of ‘by the glass’ and ‘by the bottle’ reds.  All of our delicious whites are ‘by the glass’.  Many are wines that one can find nowhere else except the vineyard itself! Expect to taste great wine.
We offer fantastic music six nights each week with a focus on quality singer-songwriters, duos, and the occasional trio, the musical entertainment is designed to enhance your enjoyment of those you are with but not overwhelm it (having said that, we do occasionally let the hair down and bring in a band that ‘cranks it out’!).  Music is usually performed from 8:30pm-10:30pm Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday.  On Mondays and Sundays music is typically 6:30pm-8:30pm.  Thursdays are an eclectic mix of music and spoken word (please call to discover what is scheduled for ‘your’ Thursday!).  The spoken word will be called Blue Suede Shoe Tales. This will be true life, first person story-telling. Working in conjunction with a local and the wildly successful Storytelling Festival we will provide an environment in which to perfect the art.
Something a little bit special in downtown, we hope that you come and enjoy this ‘Casually Elegant’ space.

The above example is giving a lot of good and detailed information of what is offered at this restaurant, but it is broadly written.  This can easily be too overwhelming for a potential customer, who may be quickly scanning the web for a place to eat.  In many cases, the customer would skip over that site and go on to the next one.

Simplicity is best.

Taking the same information, I’ve distilled and presented it this way:
Located downtown, the Blue Suede Shoe is the hot-spot for good food, excellent wines and local and guest musicians to display their talents.
From Wednesday to Sunday, the piano keys are tickled in time with guitar and drums, bringing original songs and covers from other bands.
Tuesdays are reserved for trivia, wherein knowledge of the minutiae is a highly coveted skill.  For each round won, a team of six receives free shots made specifically for the game.  At the end, the winning team of the game overall are served a fruit and cheese platter with chocolate cake.
Outdoor patio seating provides a lovely ambiance for dinner and drinks.  The wines are carefully selected by the owner from California wineries.  There are a mixture of wines available sold by the glass or by the bottle and, whichever you choose, you won’t be disappointed.  A cocktail list is currently being revised, to accompany the standard choices.
For an eclectic and casually elegant dining experience, the Blue Suede Shoe Bar is that something a little bit special you might be looking for.

See the difference?  The same information, presented differently, creates two very different pictures of the same restaurant.

The Importance of Deadlines

Deadlines are intimidating.  Let’s get that out of the way right now.  They are marked on your calendar in bold, black ink.  They taunt your lack of motivation and constantly remind you that time is growing short.

So what happened?  You have a project that you’ve been assigned.  There’s a goal to get it finished by a certain day.  There’s excitement and energy as you outline and prepare and can visualize the final result.  You can hardly wait to get started.

Then that dreaded procrastination sets in and you find every excuse in the book to avoid getting started.  Laundry has become The Most Important Thing.  And the kitchen needs to be re-organized and cleaned.  Or the garage.  Everything else seems to have taken on a higher degree of importance over the project with its dreaded deadline.  I know this very well – I’ve been there.

Photo Credit: Source Unknown

The trick, then, is to change how one views deadlines.  Rather than see them as obstacles to overcome or stifling one’s creative nature, choose to see the deadline as a cheerleader, urging you forward.  Block out a segment of time for the project that is manageable to your schedule.  Do as much work as possible within that blocked out time.  Always remember to breathe.

 

Deadlines can be intimidating to the point of avoidance.  By embracing it as a friend, a cheerleader and a challenge, you will be able to tap back into that excitement for your project.

An Empty Stage

In the image above, there is an empty stage.  Given that there are no set pieces or props onstage, one cannot reasonably assume what the production’s status is.  I chose that image because it is symbolic of both the beginning and the end of a project.  For a set designer, the stage plan is provided in the script and from there, the set is built on that empty stage.

For the writer, it’s a blank page, to be marked on by pen.

Writing is solitary by nature.  It takes discipline to sit down and write.  And it takes absolute courage to share it with someone else, whether it’s a close friend or family member, or an editor.  Even more so when the manuscript is finished and sent off to a publisher.  There is no set formula for a best-selling novel.  As near as I can tell, it’s a combination of talent and hard work, timing, a publisher willing to take a chance and a good editor.

An editor’s job is to go through your work, pick out the small things (wording, spelling, grammar) and big things (summarizing rather than showing).  Any criticism offered is to help make your work the best it can be.  In order to grow as a writer, one needs to listen to the editor’s critiques with an open mind and not take it personally.  I realize this is not an easy thing to do, but it’s necessary.

How to I listen to my editor?  By recognizing that every objection I might have to her suggestions is due to my own ego.  If I remove that from the equation (which is not always easy), then I am open to receive the help she is giving me in making my own work the best it can be.  If I want my work to be taken seriously, I need to present it as my very best.

The empty stage above is from a production I was involved in last year.  I took that photo at the end, when the props and set pieces had been removed.  This is pretty much what it looked like in the beginning, coming full circle.  So it is with writing – it begins with a blank page and ends with the manuscript in the mail.

And then you turn to a fresh page and start all over.

 

An Editor’s Tale

Earlier this year, in a conversation I had with a potential client, we were discussing the details of what they were expecting from me regarding their manuscript.  When it was indicated that they were planning to self-publish their novel, I asked about the time frame and was startled to hear them say six weeks from our initial consult.  They also indicated that editing was the last thing needed before they went forward with it.

This raised several red flags for me, but I’m only going to take the time to discuss two of them, as they are pertinent to editing.

First, that they wanted to publish it within six weeks of the initial consult.  This makes the editor’s job harder to do.  Why?  Because editing is a process – the editor combs through the manuscript, making notes for the writer to help create a stronger piece.  Then the manuscript is sent back to the writer, who needs to go through and incorporate the notes given.  This process occurs multiple times, until the editor deems it polished and ready to send out.

Creating a tight deadline of six weeks is only setting up everyone involved for failure and that was the second red flag.  This puts stress on the editor, who is working hard to give clear and concise notes on what can be improved.  It also puts stress on the writer, who may begin to feel resentment towards the editor.  This can cause relations between the two to grow tense and unprofessional, a situation that is undesirable.  A deadline is good to have, as long as it is realistic and achievable, but it helps to be flexible.

Going back to my potential client, I was able to convey the problems with this, offered a few suggestions in the meantime and, with respect, had to turn it down.  Will they come back to me later on, with a more reasonable deadline?  Maybe.  I’d like to think so, since I was able to give them something to work with.

In the end, I had to go with being honest and respectful of their work and my time.  I’d rather lose work that way than create a hostile situation where no one wins.

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